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Just Show Up!

I I have a tendency to put a lot of pressure on myself about things that, in the big picture, are absolutely unnecessary. This is nothing new as I have been this way my entire adult life and as a result I have sucked the joy out of of a lot of things because of this. Now, I would not call myself a perfectionist, as I have learned to go with the flow and bend  a lot of the time. We are all familiar with the saying Don't sweat the small stuff, but I sweat the SMALL stuff all of the time. I SWEAT the most tedious of task so much that there are times that I replay it over and over and over in my head so often that I allow the small stuff to paralyze me to the point where I can focus on nothing else other than the one task I couldn't complete with perfection. The hundred other things I did well stand no chance as I will continue to focus on the one thing that I could not do with flawless execution. Many times I do not even fail at the task at hand, I just did not execute it as I saw it play out in my head.  On the other hand, the big stuff, I have a tendency to shove that under the table and not give it a second thought. Or, should I say I bury the big stuff. I put it into a place where I do not have to confront it or deal with it because doing so may make me uncomfortable. I guess this  is how I balance.  For many years I just accepted this is who I am and continue to be paralyzed by the smallest misstep. This is the point in my Just Write entry where I am going to tell you that focusing on my self-development over this last year has helped my not only recognize this paralyzing habit, but to face it head on and challenge myself to do some things differently. These daily Just Write entries are one way that I have learned to let go of perfection and Just Write. When I show up to each entry I  just write, with no expectation other than showing up and letting my  Not worried about my run ons, grammar, contractions and flow of each entry. This is a creative outlet for me and one where perfection is not required. This is not a test and I am not being graded. I am not writing for you. I am writing for me and today was a great example of how just showing up with no expectation other than to enjoy the experience of doing so was a much needed shift in my psyche. When I just write I can go from being paralyzed, numb and uninspired to moving again in a way that spills my cup and allows movement again in my thoughts, movement, actions and overall being. Just Write. Just Move. Just Do It.

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